He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. — Albert Einstein
Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.
Journalism is the ability to meet the challenge of filling space. — Rebecca West
By doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task completely overwhelm you.
If we were meant to fly, we wouldn’t keep losing our luggage.
They’re prepared to shed any amount of bloodshed. — Tony Blair
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. — Groucho Marx
Chase the dream, not the competition!
I chose not to choose a life. I chose something else.
And when the Swordsmith handed it to me, all who beheld it said a long and whispered “Ahhh” at the strip of silver steel made with love and skill for the single purpose of opening live human flesh.
Homophobia (n): Insecurity about being heterosexual.
Funny that “strap on” spelled backwards is “no parts”.
Stupidity is only limited by ignorance.
Women are like teabags. You never know how strong they are until you put them in hot water. — Nancy Reagan
You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
Time’s fun when you’re having flies. — Kermit the Frog
I’m out of my mind, but please leave a message.
If God didn’t want us to eat animals, he wouldn’t have made them out of meat.
Reality is for those that can’t handle drugs.
The California State Lottery has been called, for example, “a tax on people who can’t do math”.
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it. — Groucho Marx
I can bend minds with my spoon.
For large values of one, one equals two, for small values of two.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. — Groucho Marx
Swordplay untested in battle is like swimming on land.
Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. — Don Marquis
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You, too? Thought I was the only one”. — C.S. Lewis
This is the sort of pedantry up with which I will not put. — Winston Churchill
Originality is the art of concealing your source. — Franklin P. Jones
One thing foreigners, computers, and poets have in common is that they make unexpected linguistic associations. — Jasia Reichardt
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. — Walt Whitman
While most peoples’ opinions change, the conviction of their correctness never does.
Love your country, but never trust its government. — Robert A. Heinlein
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. — Mark Twain
Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.
Those who say something cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.
You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. — Olin Miller
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. — Albert Einstein
I owe my success to the fact that I didn’t allow my schooling to interfere with my education. — Mark Twain
… so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent, and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious and otherwise, to put shackles upon sleeping men. — Voltarine de Cleyre
If the whole human race lay in one grave, the epitaph on its headstone might well be: “It seemed a good idea at the time.” — Rebecca West
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. — Susan Ertz
Everything you know is wrong. But some of it is a useful first approximation.
A strong hatred is the best lamp to bear in our hands as we go over the dark places of life, cutting away the dead things men tell us to revere. — Rebecca West
When judging a physical theory, I ask myself wether I would have made the Universe in that way had I been God. — Albert Einstein
All generalizations are false.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid, than to open it and remove all doubt. — Mark Twain
To stay young requires the unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods. — Lazarus Long
Grabel’s Law: 2 is not equal to 3 - not even for very large values of 2.
I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path. — Ronald Mabbitt
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. — Mark Twain
History must not fall into the wrong hands.
I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat. — Rebecca West
Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. — Auguste Rodin
A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. — Woodrow Wyatt
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear; not absence of fear. — Mark Twain
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism it’s the other way around.
He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom. — Gandalf the Grey
Admit your errors before somebody exaggerates them. — Andrew V. Mason
The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots. — Rebecca West
Instead of trying to prove your opponent wrong, try to see in what sense he might be right. — Robert Nozick
Never pick a fight with a man who buys his ink by the barrel. — Mark Twain
The sum of human wisdom is not contained in any one language, and no single language is capable of expressing all forms and degrees of human comprehension. — Ezra Pound
Why be a man when you can be a success? — Bertold Brecht
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is research.
Life ought to be a struggle of desire toward adventures whose nobility will fertilize the soul. — Rebecca West
A dream is an answer to a question we haven’t learned to ask. — Dana Scully
Another non-functioning site was “uncertainty.microsoft.com.” The purpose of that site was not known. — MSNBC on MS crack
Linux is for people who hate Microsoft. FreeBSD is for people who love Unix.
The degree to which life sucks is directly proportional to your blood/caffeine ratio.
If Windows XP is the answer, you didn’t understand the question.
In computer science, we stand on each other’s feet. — Brian K. Reid
Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS:s is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders. — elwynn
IRC is just multiplayer notepad. — Reverend
If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it’s done. — Scott Adams
Shipping software is an unnatural act. — David Stafford
There are good programmers, bad programmers and new programmers.
Every good work of software starts by scratching a developer’s personal itch. — Eric S. Raymond
Good programmers know what to write. Great ones know what to rewrite (and reuse). — Eric S. Raymond
Plan to throw one away; you will, anyhow. — Fred Brooks
If you have the right attitude, interesting problems will find you. — Eric S. Raymond
To the systems programmer, users and applications serve only to provide a test load.
Premature optimization, including premature low-level design, is the root of all evil. — Michael Abrash
When you lose interest in a program, your last duty to it is to hand it off to a competent successor. — Eric S. Raymond
Everything should be built top down, except the first time.
There ain’t no such thing as the fastest code.
I wake up in the morning with ideas that please me, and some of those ideas actually please me also later in the day when I’ve entered them into my computer. — Donald Knuth
De gustibus non est disputandum - You cannot argue about taste
Timendi causa est nescire - Ignorance is the cause of fear
Nescire quaedam magna pars sapientiae est - Not knowing everything, is a part of wisdom
Qui non est hodie cras minus aptus erit - He who is not prepared today will be less so tomorrow
Qui tacet consentit - He who is silent agrees
Du måste stå på dig, annars gör någon annan det.
Ta en banan. Tänk på kriget.
Ge inte barnen fisk, lär barnen fiska!
Jesus har tappat armen. — Pojke på museum
Jag tror inte jag kan äta någonting med en korv under näsan.
Jag är inte dum, jag har bara lite otur när jag tänker ibland…
Hade jag nio liv så skulle jag också krypa in i plastpåsar. — A_Lee_N
Det finns tusen pennor i ankan.
Gud är gjord av svart plast och bor i Göteborg.
Jag är hårdare än alla grävlingar.
Drick mitt skägg. — Gazman
Han är inte pervers. Han är en man.
Alltså folk som jobbar på apotek, dom har en slags seghet i nerverna. — Rebecca Goldie Löwy
Det finns flera i din ålder som är lika gamla som dig.
Alltså, blinda kanske också kan höra, men det kan de ju inte tala om.
Jag är så uttråkad i nerverna.
Varför har du en samuraj och vi andra har inte det?
Det är inte du som bestämmer det. Det är Jesus som bestämmer.
Kanel kan suga min köttflöjt.
Spindlarna kommer. Rymden har välsignat dig.
© elmindreda